Father : I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : "I will choose my own bride!"
Father: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"
Next Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case...ok"
This is how business is done!!
Singapore's Origin.
How Singapore got its name
Version 1 : When Raffles stepped out of his boat on to Boat Quay, a man was running by announcing the birth of his son in hokkien. 'see ta poh, see ta poh'
Version 2 : I thought the story was like this : The malay/indian king, Parameswara, was sleeping under a tree and was dreaming. He was rudely awakened by an animal resembling a lion. So, out of shock, he screamed ' Singa porda ! Singa porda ' (which means, 'lion, get lost!')
Version 3 : When Raffles sailed up the Singapore river for the first time, a malay lady was bathing in the river, having left her clothes on the river bank. A Singh came by and stole her clothes. The upset lady started shouting after him, 'Singh Kapoh, Singh Kapoh'
Version 1 : When Raffles stepped out of his boat on to Boat Quay, a man was running by announcing the birth of his son in hokkien. 'see ta poh, see ta poh'
Version 2 : I thought the story was like this : The malay/indian king, Parameswara, was sleeping under a tree and was dreaming. He was rudely awakened by an animal resembling a lion. So, out of shock, he screamed ' Singa porda ! Singa porda ' (which means, 'lion, get lost!')
Version 3 : When Raffles sailed up the Singapore river for the first time, a malay lady was bathing in the river, having left her clothes on the river bank. A Singh came by and stole her clothes. The upset lady started shouting after him, 'Singh Kapoh, Singh Kapoh'
Phua Chu Kang ( PCK ) explaining sex to Chu Beng's son, Aloysius.
Aloy : Why is making love so enjoyable ?
PCK : Aiyah, ah boy, enjolable becaws, same like when you dig your nose with your finger mah !
Aloy : Do you think women enjoy sex more than men ?
PCK : Of course woman lah ! When you dig dig your nose, your nose feel better than your finger, right?
Aloy : Why do women hate it when they get raped?
PCK : Ai-yah ! Say, you walk along the load, den someone come over and dig your nose, you like or not ? ehhh ? Don't pray pray ah !
Aloy : Why is it a woman cannot have sex when she is having her menses ?
PCK : Oy !! If your nose bleeding, you still go and dig meh ?? Siow ah ! Use your blain, use your blainnn ..........
Aloy : Why is it most men don't like wearing condoms when they are making love?
PCK : Ehhhh, when you dig your nose ah, you like to dig with a glove on your finger or not ? Not the same shiok feeling mah. Corlight or not ?
Aloy : Why is making love carried out in private ?
PCK : Ah boyyyyy, use your blain, use your blainnnnn ......... you go and dig your nose in flont of your whole class izit ?? Stupid lah!!
Aloy : Wah ...... Uncle Chu Kang, you are very good.
PCK : Aiyah, ah boy, enjolable becaws, same like when you dig your nose with your finger mah !
Aloy : Do you think women enjoy sex more than men ?
PCK : Of course woman lah ! When you dig dig your nose, your nose feel better than your finger, right?
Aloy : Why do women hate it when they get raped?
PCK : Ai-yah ! Say, you walk along the load, den someone come over and dig your nose, you like or not ? ehhh ? Don't pray pray ah !
Aloy : Why is it a woman cannot have sex when she is having her menses ?
PCK : Oy !! If your nose bleeding, you still go and dig meh ?? Siow ah ! Use your blain, use your blainnn ..........
Aloy : Why is it most men don't like wearing condoms when they are making love?
PCK : Ehhhh, when you dig your nose ah, you like to dig with a glove on your finger or not ? Not the same shiok feeling mah. Corlight or not ?
Aloy : Why is making love carried out in private ?
PCK : Ah boyyyyy, use your blain, use your blainnnnn ......... you go and dig your nose in flont of your whole class izit ?? Stupid lah!!
Aloy : Wah ...... Uncle Chu Kang, you are very good.
The Prisoner.
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, it’s not a life sentence,
OKAY!
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, it’s not a life sentence,
OKAY!
The cheapest places to live in the world.
Well…there are places in the world where you can live well for less. The cheapest places to live are also the most beautiful and exotic destinations. So why not make your dreams come true, pack your bags and move to one of those paradise locations, if not for a lifetime, then at least for a year or two?
There are two simple rules to follow while searching for low cost destinations. Firstly: if you find a place cheap enough to travel to, then most probably you will also find it cheap to live in. Secondly: wherever you are, the further from the big cities and large agglomerations, the cheaper it gets.
Of course ‘cheap’ is a very relative concept, and what is cheap for you may not be cheap for people living some place else in the world.
But if ‘cheap’ means spending just a few dollars/euro/pounds a day, then these locations in Asia and Central America may interest you…
THAILAND
This could be your home.
travel blog magazine 455 3 The cheapest places to live in the world
Have you ever been to Thailand? Do you remember that feeling of paying $1 (€0.70) for a glass of beer? Did you ask yourself then what it would feel like to pay that much for a drink back home? Or the other way round… what would it feel like to enjoy such prices on a daily basis? If your answers are yes, yes, yes …then why not consider moving to the Land of Smiles for a while?
There are two simple rules to follow while searching for low cost destinations. Firstly: if you find a place cheap enough to travel to, then most probably you will also find it cheap to live in. Secondly: wherever you are, the further from the big cities and large agglomerations, the cheaper it gets.
Of course ‘cheap’ is a very relative concept, and what is cheap for you may not be cheap for people living some place else in the world.
But if ‘cheap’ means spending just a few dollars/euro/pounds a day, then these locations in Asia and Central America may interest you…
THAILAND
This could be your home.
travel blog magazine 455 3 The cheapest places to live in the world
Have you ever been to Thailand? Do you remember that feeling of paying $1 (€0.70) for a glass of beer? Did you ask yourself then what it would feel like to pay that much for a drink back home? Or the other way round… what would it feel like to enjoy such prices on a daily basis? If your answers are yes, yes, yes …then why not consider moving to the Land of Smiles for a while?
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